Beehive

Congratulations to everyone coming out of NaPoWriMo. Some of us managed to get 30 poems (as I did, miraculously), some more, some less. I hope it was a worthwhile project for you, no matter the quantity of your writing.

Here’s my first post-National Poetry Writing Month poem. A PoNaPoWriMoPo, if you well. I’m still feeling the need for prompts to lean on– it’s so difficult to let go and admit a project is complete sometimes. Thanks to the folks who have been sharing their creative gifts through those. Per the final official prompt for NaPoWriMo 2013, a rewrite of “Bluebird” by Charles Bukowski.

there’s a beehive in my mind that
can’t be contained
because I’m not strong enough,
Mute as it swarms under my skin,
noticeable to
anyone.
there’s a beehive in my mind that
can’t be contained
though I do asanas for it and exhale
in therapy
and my friends and coworkers
and lovers
always, in time,
hear
the buzzing.

there’s a beehive in my mind that
can’t be contained
because I’m not strong enough,
They hum,
don’t try, you’re fucking it
all up.
you’ll only manage to
fail.
you never write anything good. stay
home.
there’s a beehive in my mind that
can’t be contained
and has no reason, they swarm inside
every damn day
in the midst of crowds and life.
They say, we know what’s coming,
it’s time to
panic.
they crowd my vision,
and I barely manage
to see past them. They never quite let me
live
and we exist apart from
everyone,
too much to form
connections.
it’s more than enough to
keep a girl from
laughing, but what other
options do
I have?

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